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This video was inspired by a post I made in my recovery tumblr over 4 years ago today. The image I posted is included in this video and here is the text (TRIGGER WARNING – I was deep in my ED still when I wrote this and only recovering through an ultimately unsuccessful quasi recovery method – less than 9 months later I entered REAL recovery and actually started bloating and gaining in a more extreme but successful way)~
“bloating. It is one of the hardest parts of my recovery journey thus far. I eat so well during the day, trying to make it to at least 2500 cals every day. I feel so great when I’m able to do this because I can feel myself mentally returning to normal, but then I glance in the mirror before I go to bed and it all falls apart.
Last night I took a picture of my stomach, no pushing out or sucking in of any sort… naturally it was this extended. I hadn’t eaten in 2ish hours as this was around midnight right before I went to bed. I felt hideous, hopeless, and sad. My belly was gigantic and in lots of pain.
This morning I woke up and went to the bathroom and decided to check again (not hoping for much) and look at the difference (again not sucking in or pushing out, this was what my belly looked like naturally)!!
You guys! All that bloating was just a big ole food baby lol!
idk, I know it happens every day and it kind of sucks because when I want to look cute and sexy is at night – not first thing in the morning… but I have faith that soon my body will get used to the amount of food I’m feeding it!
my important realization was this… yesterday I had more food than I’ve been used to eating in months and it was difficult but I did it (with the help of a lot of girl scout cookies) and I went to bed thinking “this can’t be right, there is no way this is right, recovery is just painful and humiliating” but LOOK now I look normal again! recovery is a process but no moment is permanent and as long as I continue to do right by my mind and body I will be healed! I truly believe that I can escape this nightmare once and for all :)”
Recovery Bloating & Vegan Shamrock Shakes#VeganShakes
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